Friday, January 22, 2010

Inevitably...

With the extreme adrenaline rush of several busy days strung together comes the inevitable crash one feels when you suddenly stop. Last night was a crazy, fun-filled night of dancing, drinks, and music. The anxiety and stress of whatever issue is currently at the front of my thoughts was forgotten about.

Now I sit in a café, slowly eating my muffin and trying not to let the anxiety take over me. It is entirely brought on by my own mind and the insecurities that rest there. I know that they are only as real as I let them become.

This manifestation of shaking fingers, shallow breathing, and a knotted stomach is made worse by the fact that they are present. A sort of catch-22. I've gotten through this before, and I'll do it again.

I do miss Joe oh-so-much though. I wish I could be where he is. Soon enough though. He's doing something amazing and difficult right now, and he deserves all the support I can give.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

'cos all I do is dance, 'cos all I do is dance...

I feel as though I've made incredible strides in these last two weeks. Honestly... I keep forgetting what a life force I am. Once I gain momentum, there's no stopping me. Thanks to this never-ending rain, I still feel inclined to sit inside, curled up under a blanket.

I took the initiative and started pushing to regain my old position as Café Lead back. So far my managers are being supported in my efforts and are going to schedule me so that I can get back on track. Is this exactly what I want? No. Is this what I need? Hell yes.

The rest of this week is full to the brim with happenings, people, and craziness. I haven't stopped, which means I'm gonna need a "Lahnna Day" really soon. That pretty much involves zoning out in front of the computer. Or a movie screen. Or sleep.

My little sister arrives tomorrow for the weekend. I'm gonna be spending time with her and my brother-in-law. Is it really Thursday already? I think some MGMT is order... <3