After enduring nearly 3 weeks of patience and steadfastness I can confidently say that it has all paid off. The job I longed for has been confirmed, though I have yet to discuss the details with my soon-to-be employers. I quite literally spent the last two days holding my breath, jumping at every noise my phone uttered. It was only when I left my phone alone for long enough that I received an e-mail titled "Hi!". I knew then it had to be good news.
I took an enormous leap of faith by leaving my former job without the safety net of a steady job or a precise purpose. Fearful that I would reach destitution, or far worse become quickly disenchanted by my freshly recognized independence, far before I found work again, I dove head first into menial tasks like reconstructing my résumé and scouring the internet for signs of movement in the job market.
Despite the negative outlook many have towards Twitter, I can confirm its usefulness as a fast and reliable news feed. Had I not been soaking in social media I may not have discovered this incredibly valuable job opportunity, one that could take me to a new level of experience in my chosen field. Its real-time feed gave me the jump I needed on what I knew would be fierce competition. To be frank, if it weren't for Twitter, I may not have won this match.
As I await the details of my next assignment, I've had plenty of time to reflect on this path and where I am headed. I do not know precisely how it will all pan out, but I suppose I want to take the time to make some promises to myself.
I will breathe in times of stress.
I will allow myself to make mistakes. I will own them. I will fix them accordingly.
I will oversee my training by leaving no stone unturned and asking questions.
I will tell myself that this fear is only as real as I let it become.
I will remember everyone that has helped bring me to this point, and appreciate those that will take over and guide me further.
The details are incredibly easy to learn. A foundation of knowledge solidified by practice allowing for space to grow. This job I already know.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Absorb & Emit
I am virtually forcing myself to write in order to calm my nerves. I'm awaiting news that's going to drastically alter the path my life takes in these next few weeks, months, and hopefully, years. There is no certainty that this news will even arrive before my bedtime, but I am hoping. And I am hoping for a positive result. No, I'm not pregnant!
As an optimist and idealist, I want the best outcome for everyone. I've spent the better part of my life instilling my spot in the world as a conduit for positive energy, and the last few weeks have been no exception. In fact, now more than ever do I believe that emitting positive energy brings it back around. Like the Earth revolves around the sun, I know that this push and pull of energy is real. I can feel it in my blood.
Most people look at me like I just jumped off the Peace Train when I talk about these things, but their approval isn't my primary goal. I feel that if even one person can understand a small bit of the ideal I attempt to convey then I am doing something right. Even if their entire purpose is to disprove my personal doctrine, I don't take offense. Our world is so complex and so awe-inspiring that it begs us to question it. It's when we stop questioning that I become afraid. However, that fear never lasts long. My existence is too full of things to keep me distracted by negative energy and the impulses that follow.
I am accepting that no matter what follows, I'll still be all right. I am still breathing. Still loving. It reminds me of a moment, a short clip in my life, when I could have very easily lost everything. Everything being my very life breath. It was also in that moment I gave myself up, and accepted what was ahead of me. Fear did not vanish, but it morphed into something else entirely. It became strength.
They say the most important lessons are the ones you learn over and over again. And here I am, learning to let go again. No other choice.
As an optimist and idealist, I want the best outcome for everyone. I've spent the better part of my life instilling my spot in the world as a conduit for positive energy, and the last few weeks have been no exception. In fact, now more than ever do I believe that emitting positive energy brings it back around. Like the Earth revolves around the sun, I know that this push and pull of energy is real. I can feel it in my blood.
Most people look at me like I just jumped off the Peace Train when I talk about these things, but their approval isn't my primary goal. I feel that if even one person can understand a small bit of the ideal I attempt to convey then I am doing something right. Even if their entire purpose is to disprove my personal doctrine, I don't take offense. Our world is so complex and so awe-inspiring that it begs us to question it. It's when we stop questioning that I become afraid. However, that fear never lasts long. My existence is too full of things to keep me distracted by negative energy and the impulses that follow.
I am accepting that no matter what follows, I'll still be all right. I am still breathing. Still loving. It reminds me of a moment, a short clip in my life, when I could have very easily lost everything. Everything being my very life breath. It was also in that moment I gave myself up, and accepted what was ahead of me. Fear did not vanish, but it morphed into something else entirely. It became strength.
They say the most important lessons are the ones you learn over and over again. And here I am, learning to let go again. No other choice.
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